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Chess Club. Mindful Mondays: Beginner Yoga. That field trip really stuck with me over the years, who knew it would predict my future roadmap with Lupus. I would go home and to school, wearing gloves and extra clothing in order to overcome the temporary battle against the cold. Just as others were able to move much more quickly over the rocks, other kids were able to run outside in the snow, or wear t-shirts when it was 70 degrees outside; however, I could not.
As I approached further onto my path, those rocks became larger and further apart. I feared that snakes and bees nests would pop out at me while I tried hopping to the other side. Along the way, I did encounter humans who sneered and smirked at my struggles that they did not want to understand.
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I had to keep reminding myself that I was faster, stronger and had more will power to overcome the negativity and insecurities that fueled that behavior. I did notice that with every large boulder, there was a much smaller and easier rock that I knew I could step on without any worry.
I was able to gain mental strength and confidence from being forced to face my fears. Eventually, getting blood drawn became a part of normal doctor visits, but I knew they helped me check my body for disease activity and helped to keep me healthy. As one would expect, I eventually came to the biggest gap between two boulders I had ever seen and I was exhausted.
I eventually found my jar of bravery, opened it up and problem-solved my way to the other side. I did take longer than the others, but I used my past experiences to help me walk my way around the dangerous gap and onto the other side, ready to continue on my path.
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Eventually we all were called back as a troop to climb back to the parking lot. The field was much less intimidating and I found myself, almost sad that the challenges were over. Now that I am much more controlled, I sometimes find myself wondering if I received the right diagnosis or have made up all of that pain and struggle I endured a few years ago.
It can seem like you have lived more than one life as you move from chapter to chapter in the struggle against Lupus. But, then the joint pain, fatigue, body rashes, weight loss and muscle spasms rear their ugly head, bringing me back to reality. Unfortunately, I will never be able to go back to the start from where I came like I did on that Girl Scout trip.
Before and After: Hair Condition
My Lupus journey will continue to sometimes be easy and sometimes make me feel like there is no way I can survive the systemic pain.Whilst fatigue is noted as a symptom in both models, the model presented in this paper also conceptualises fatigue as an impact of SLE.
As I approached further onto my path, those rocks became larger and further apart.
Homeostatic imbalance of regulatory and effector T cells due to IL-2 deprivation amplifies murine lupus. About Emily Emily Carroll began battling the Lupus with Scleroderma overlap since , during her first semester of college. Cost-of-illness studies in systemic lupus erythematosus: Wider impacts on social functioning and working life are also reported [ 29 ],[ 40 ].
My Lupus journey will continue to sometimes be easy and sometimes make me feel like there is no way I can survive the systemic pain.
Lupus WPAI: My friends at the time took off and were able to leap from one boulder to the other, never tripping or fearing the large gaps that existed.